Random Thoughts

The Monster in my head

I have struggled with depression most of my adult life.  The first major episode was after I had my son, I was 20 years old.  I didn’t realize what exactly was going on.  I had no energy at all.  I didn’t want to get dressed, or bathe, or eat, or even go anywhere.  I remember using all my energy I had to take care of my son.  I went to the dr and got a diagnosis and began medication.  

I am thankful that I have times where I don’t feel depressed.  I never feel that I am 100 percent normal though.  I feel like my brain is broken.  I am over sensitive to how people feel.  I am exhausted because I worry about everything.  Constantly trying to please everyone has really taken a tole.  

I am 50 years old now, and I am just tired.  Tired of pushing people away.  Tired of being so exhausted I don’t want to get up.  Tired of people saying they are friends, but they aren’t.  Tired of living in a world where I feel useless and unimportant.  What exactly is the purpose of it all?  

Am I surrounding by sucky people, or is my perception of life wrong?  Are my thought clouded by depression?  Will the sun ever shine again for me?  

I am on my medication, but I am researching shock therapy.  I know it sounds horendous!  In fact, I have always had nightmares at the thought, but from what I have read, it is a very safe option to long term depression.  

I may not have the heart to follow through with it, but at least I can think about it right?  It gives that monster in my head something to dwell on besides life.  

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Random Thoughts

Free stuff for all!

Free college!  Free healthcare!   FREE!   This all sounds great, and I think everyone would love this concept, but anyone that has ever worked with money can see the disaster of this concept.

Nothing is ever free.   There has to be money set aside somewhere to pay for these things.   I love eating out, but my budget doesn’t reflect eating out all the time.  Truth is, I have to look at income and outcome and very carefully assign money to certain things.  Rent, loan payments, gas, electricity, and other things are necessary and must be allocated first.  Then food budget, entertainment, and so forth.  These are areas where I need to really budget my money or I will go crazy spending and then not be able to pay my other bills.

The government budget is examined closely.  There are many people who examine it and try to balance it according to needs.

Free health care is already in place, even a sliding scale income based insurance is in place for those who need it.  Free college is in place for people who need it also.  GPA requirements and income requirements have to be me, but it’s available.  To offer it to everyone in the US would be disastrous!  Money would have to come from somewhere else to pay for it.

I think we should just work on the programs already in place, and try to fix some of the issues with these programs.  Some issues are people taking advantage of the system.  Staying single to qualify for more government programs.  Having children to qualify for more programs.  The list goes on and on.

Random Thoughts

Midterm elections are over

I am a voter!   I have been voting ever since I was able to vote, and I always take pride in learning as much as I can about the candidates before I vote.  I am sad to say that my country has really disappointed me.  Voting is a precious right we all have, and you have a winner and loser.  That’s just how it is.  It is great knowing that we as Americans can cast our vote and then let the results fall where they may.

Current times have just divided everyone.  All of a sudden we are defined by our political stance, or our skin color, or even our gender.   People need to grow up!   I will never vote for a woman just because she is a woman.  I will never vote for a person just because of their skin color.  I will never vote for someone just because they are labeled democrat or republican.   I look at what each candidate stands for.  I have never voted for someone because they stood for everything I believed in 100 percent, but I look at the good and the bad.  I make an educated decision to the best of my ability and I cast my vote!  It’s my American right to do that.

I am sick of the name calling, harassing in public and pretty much shaming people on how the feel politically.  It really makes us all look bad!  This country has just gone down hill!  Bullying should not be allowed in our country any more!

United we stand, divided we fall.

Feelings, Random Thoughts

How to be a strong woman

How can you be a strong woman today?  Strength comes from being kind when you really want to be ugly.  Strength comes from recognizing that we are all different.  Differences make us all special, embrace that and encourage each other to be themselves.  Strength comes from encouraging others.  Strength comes from honoring other’s opinions.  Never belittling someone for having different opinions.

Women have  shocked me these days.  I have heard women belittle others for not breastfeeding or having natural child births.  I have actually been called a gender traitor because I am a Republican.  I have been called ignorant because I have a beautiful southern accent.  Let’s not be these kinds of women.  Let’s be better than that.  My mamma always said, “if you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all”.

We should be respectful of all people, especially woman.  Woman have it hard.  So many expect us to be perfect, yet in our busy lives of raising children, we simply have to do the best we can.  Life is hard, for everyone.  Why does it matter what we wear, what size we are, what we eat, or what we believe?  I am glad we aren’t all the same.  There are lots of ways to do things.  That is what makes this world exciting.

If you are reading this, strive this week to be more understanding of everyone.  If someone is spouting negativity, just smile.  If someone is hurtful, then pray for that person.  Find the good in everyone,  be strong.  Set the example.  Put everything else aside, and just be you!  We never know what people are going through, so just be patient.  We all need a little kindness!   Be the one that gives it out freely!  Be strong!  Be a strong woman!

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Random Thoughts

Labor Day 2018

Just a few facts about Labor Day.  Did you know that the first Labor Day was celebrated in New York City back in 1882?  Back then, Americans worked 12 hours a day, seven days a week.   10,000 people paraded through New York City that year to demand higher wages and less work hours.  They peacefully marched from City Hall to a giant picnic in the park.  Many of these folks risked losing their jobs by taking the day off to protest the long work days, but they were hoping for a better life for themselves and their families.

In 1894, years following this first protest, Labor Day was made a national holiday!  Today it is a day for most people to rest.  It is always on a Monday, and therefore a long weekend is what marks this great day.  It is known now as Labor Day Weekend!

How did you spend your Labor Day weekend??  My husband and I labored or course!  We washed our cars, and our fifth wheel.  We also relaxed and watched movies on Netflix.  It was an extra day that I got to spend with my husband, who is usually working on most Mondays.  I will take a 3 day holiday anytime, but the next one probably won’t come until November.  I hope you all had a great long weekend!

Random Thoughts, Recycle

Recycle Metal

Most recycling places accept metal cans for recycling.  Soda cans, food cans, coffee cans.   All you have to do is clean out any food debris and place it in your recycle bin.

Unfortunately aluminum foil and food trays can’t be recycled.  So one way to eliminate this waste is to store all your left overs in glass or plastic containers that you can reuse.  Only use aluminum foil when you absolutely have to.  For grilling you can use a flat pan instead of foil.  That way, no waste!

There are rumors that removing the tabs from soda cans will collect you more money at the recycling centers, but it isn’t true.  The tabs are made from the same metal as the can.  Some charities like Ronald McDonald house and the Shriners Hospital for children do take tab donations, but it doesn’t fetch them any more money than the whole can would.   A million can tabs has a recycle value of about $366 dollars in the US.  To me, it’s better to just recycle the whole can.  No worries about separating the tabs or anything.

Random Thoughts, Recycle

Recycle Shopping Bags

You can’t recycle shopping bags!   You can reuse them, like bagging poop diapers or other stinky items for the trash, but they can’t be recycled.  What a shame!   So what are we to do??   We could choose paper bags at the market, or better yet only use the reusable bags.  They cost but once bought, you can reuse them forever!  (or at least until they wear out) .

As a consumer, we need to say no to items that can’t be recycled.  Eliminate the waste totally!  Most beaches have already banned them on our beaches!  By September 1, I pledge to only use reusable bags!  I can’t wait to get me some cute ones, and start using them!!   Get yours and start using them.  Why continue to use plastic shopping bags when they can’t be recycled??